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DOB 5/6/92. an investment analysis student in UITM Dungun Terengganu. i hate catching up,things are moving too fast nowdays.i'd prefer to live in my own constant world:)


bile dah datang melawat blog saye ni,tinggalkan lah jejak anda dengan mengkomen entry saye ye:)


kau suka lah?

banyak sangat yang dah jadi kebelakangan ni. serabut aku. well, hari tu i just lost the love of my life. that sucks. Lord knows how much i love him & miss him right now. even though things nampak macam dah tak ada hope dah but i still nak buat something for him. just pray lah it can lembutkan hati dia balik and if doesnt then at least it is the last sweet thing yang aku boleh buat untuk dia. this maybe sounds pathetic but i know, i just know that he's missing me right now. and i know that deep down in his heart, he still loves me. but keadaan dah teruk sangat dah for us. if we'd get back together pun, things maybe jadi lebih kecoh dari yang sebelum ni.

anyway, if things couldnt work out or get better walau sikit pun, then i have go trough some hypnosis therapy called time line. they say that therapy tu boleh erase any negative or positive feelings towards any bad memories. yes, if i cant feel happy with him ever again then i'd rather feel nothing at all. aku tak sanggup nak tengok semua benda and instantly reminds me of him. and it hurts. just because of these negative feelings, aku jadi kejap okay kejap tak okay. and aku siap nak extend diploma aku. itu pun nasib baik classmate aku try bagi aku semangat. and just in time lah before aku sempat hantar surat kat HEA aku terfikir that how much i love these guys.so rase sayang lah nanti aku dah tak same class dengan mereka tu.haha.

seriously aku takut sangat nak pergi therapy tu. aku takut aku menyesal bila aku dah tak rase ape ape towards him. what we had was sangat sangat wonderful and special. kalau boleh aku tak nak lupe how it feels like but in the same time hati kecil aku ni dah tak tahan dah dengan ujian ni. aku tak nak rase sakit hati each time teringat that there are chances he could be falling in love someone else right now. aku boleh commit suicide dengan stress yang macam ni.

and thank God my parent support and try to comfort me. instead of marah marah, they understands me,my situation. they tried to help me. tried to make me better. they kept reminding me that they love me. aku sangat tersentuh by that. its not about faez that made me cry each time im on the phone with my mom but aku terharu je that dia try untuk tolong. yelah,selalunye parent tengok hal macam tak lah besar sangat and they wont understand and last last dia biarkan je. but not my mom. maybe she knows that i love faez too much. i cant live without him. but my mom proved to me that family always stays not boys. it makes me wanna cry :')
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