loosing

im such a major looser. my soul is still on the same spot but my body is walking foward. now i realise that i cant keep running from&lying to myself. the only wise decision is to bail&get away as far as i could but im not gonna do that. cause im not wise enough. i know. im confiused. im depressed. today,i found out that the same feeling that manage to make me cry like hell before is still stuck inside me. just pretending to be okay is not working out for me i guess. but why? i kept thinking&kept convincing myself that you're long gone from my life. i have no feelings for you at all,am i right? yes,im pretty sure. but what's this thing that keep bugging me. i couldnt remember the pictures&happy faces when we're together but there's this thing that's still with me. but i dont know what it is.huhh. but one thing is for sure is i'll kill you if i ever get the chance,so im pretty sure it's not love.

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